CROW’S CALL -- November 1, 2018
By: Bill Harlan
President John Militch, known to his friends as “Copy Cat,” called the meeting to order. He reminds us that RI President Barry Rassin urges us to be the inspiration, not only to ourselves but to everyone. Greeter Rachna Bijlani offered the epiphany that “You are as close to God as to yourself.” She led the Pledge and Mike Thelen led the Patriotic Song. There were no visiting Rotarians which was a good thing since we were once again meeting in the dungeon. On the other hand, the box of cookies Gobind Anand handed around went a lot further in the small room.
This correspondent asked to stand all those involved in the distribution of dictionaries to about 600 third-graders in six local schools. He particularly thanked Naim Katiby and Edgardo Carrillo who had put labels in the books and prepared them for distribution. We can be proud of the fact that for the second consecutive year the police did not need to be called to the schools for this event.
Jerry Marrs says the auction is up online. We have 60 bidders who have signed up. The total value of the items up for bid is $90,000. Jerry hopes we can recognize at least 60% of that figure. He relayed that the Education Foundation had been particularly helpful in getting out the word on the auction this year. The Foundation sent a box of blue t-shirts for us; unfortunately they came in X-Large only. Fred Nevarez picked up two and an extra one for Valerie’s next anniversary present. Jerry informed us that the Race for Education was down 2,000 runners from last year. Our efforts in the Auction are especially important, so go online and bid on Tatum’s vacation rental.
A long discussion followed which this correspondent was unable to catch. It seemed to involve Edgardo Carrillo and the Bell for the Club. Check with Edgardo for details.
Ray Giles did his Rotary Moment (more like, “Rotary Four-and-a-Half Minutes”) where he talked about the three different funds which make up the Rotary Foundation. The Endowment Fund consists of money which is invested, the returns on which go to the Foundation’s charitable work. The Polio Plus Fund is dedicated to the eradication of polio throughout the world; the Gates Foundation is prepared to add up to $100 million, based upon how much Rotary collects. The General Fund is the source of the money for the international grants which clubs can access, such as the clean water initiative Ana Dominguez recently won for our club. Ray then awarded Paul Harris Fellowship pins to Don Bierman, Lucky Sandhu and Edgardo Carrillo. Lucky declined to give a speech about his achievement; Edgardo, with a two-ruby pin, required a security detail back to his car.
Our speaker was Elizabeth Perry from the Bay Area Speech, Language and Accent Works organization. As a child Elizabeth had been invited to a Rotary meeting and praised us as leaders in our community. She spoke on how we communicate and ways we can do it more effectively. She began by saying that 88% of respondents to a recent survey declared that they considered themselves excellent communicators. If they were correct, we would have a much better world. But obviously they are not. Kids and adults lack the skills needed to communicate effectively in their relationships. Ms. Perry cited the work of Dr. David Burns of Stanford as the basis for her work in this area. She recommended his podcast, “Feeling good.”
The acronym for her advice was EAR: we need to listen with more Empathy, better Attention and increased Respect. Just because we engage in conversation doesn’t necessarily mean we are listening. To listen is to be active, not passive. Elizabeth offered five Principles for Effective, Active Listening:
- Stroking/affirmation – let your listener know you receive their message by responding to some specific detail of what they said and finding something to compliment them on.
- Disarming – de-escalate their tension by agreeing, “You’re so right to be upset.”
- Acknowledging both thought and feeling – give the listener your take on what they said, paraphrasing their message.
- Inquiring – ask follow up questions to gain more perspectives. Here Ms. Perry reminded us of the fable of the seven blind men who encounter an elephant and fight strenuously over each one’s limited experience of the creature. We should approach our quest for more information by asking frequently, “Am I correct in assuming?”
- Sharing “I feel” statements about your own response – If the listener feels they are being heard, they will be more accepting of your feelings. You should put your statements in the form of “When you said this, I felt that.” At that point Norbert Walz’s phone rang with a particularly ornate ring tone at which everyone declared, “Norbert, when your phone rang I felt confused and anxious.” That seemed to be a good point to end this informative and entertaining presentation.
Raffle: Chris Gallagher won the presenter’s gift, although he did ask if he could get a different wine that went better with the color of his shirt. Geoff Disch added to his legions of admirers by drawing blue. Big money next time!
